Top 100 Worst Movies of the 2010s: 60-51

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(Source: Long Island Weekly)

60. Better Watch Out (2017) – Well–this is a Christmas slasher flick nobody asked for. Better Watch Out is basically a dark version of Home Alone. Ed Oxenbould and Olivia DeJonge (The Visit) star in this heaping lump of coal about a babysitter being held hostage by one of the kids. This comedy/horror lacks any laughs or thrills. The characters are annoying to the point in which I never want to see on-screen anymore. The movie also features a cop-out of an ending. Never watch this during the Christmas season!

Venom (2018)

(Source: The Atlantic)

59. Venom (2018) – A movie featuring the famous villain/anti-hero would have been fine, if it came out in the early 2000s. After watching this movie, it’s clear that Tom Hardy would be a perfect choice to play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Here, he is horrendously miscast as Eddie Brock, San Francisco’s journalist who becomes infected by the symbiotes to become Venom. Despite a few decent action sequences, particularly a chase through the streets of the wonderful city (even though the Rialto makes an appearance constantly throughout the sequence), the movie becomes a messy, bloodless, derivative, and ridiculous romp of a superhero origin story. The entire cast looks like they are sleepwalking throughout the whole film. Of course, Venom has to end on a cliffhanger to leave room to sequel. Woo-freakity-hoo.

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(Source: E! Online)

58. Aloha (2015) – Cameron Crowe has come a long way since his time as a music journalist and his rock-solid directing debut Say Anything. All of his movies (even if they are terrible have awesome soundtracks. Aloha is a movie with a marvelous cast including Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray, John Krasinski, Alec Baldwin. Crowe doesn’t give anything into their performances. The dialogue is forced, the characters don’t feel like actual people (not to mention Stone’s character claiming as one-quarter Hawaiian), the narrative is incoherent to the point of everyone gag–ranging from a terrible rom-com to a gratuitous subplot involving a space satellite. Why not use the money for a Hawaiian vacation instead?

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(Source: The New York Times)

57. 2 Days in New York (2012) – Famous for playing Celine in Richard Linklater’s fantastic Before trilogy, Julie Delpy directed and starred in 2 Days in Paris, a decent anti-rom-com about a relationship going downhill. Five years later, we reunite with Delpy in 2 Days in New York, also starring Chris Rock and Albert Delpy, Julie’s real-life father. This 90-minute sitcom is filled with unlikable characters, obnoxious situations, and even worse attempts at laughs.

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(Source: The New York Times)

56. The Dead Don’t Die (2019) – Jim Jarmusch is an icon in the American indie scene. He has created some fantastic films since his 1984 debut Stranger than Paradise. Mystery Train, Night on Earth, and Paterson are all bonafide masterpieces, and it’s hard to deny his unique artistry. Here, he wrote and directed this horror comedy devoid of any laughs or scares. Its environmental message hardly amounts to anything at all. Bill Murray and Adam Driver are masters of deadpan comedy. They do have a funny line here and there, The Dead Don’t Die loses its welcome after the opening scene when they are in the car. The massive cast feel like they are sleepwalking throughout the whole film that feels 20 minutes too long. Even the last act is enough to make everyone furious long after the credits start to roll; making one wonder what the hell just happened. The “theme song” by Sturgill Simpson is the only good thing the film has to offer.

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(Source: The Hollywood Reporter)

55. The Mummy (2017) – This marks the beginning of the end of the Dark Universe. I have never seen Tom Cruise get his ass kicked so much in a movie in my life. For some weird reason, it makes me laugh my ass off. The backstory about the titular mummy is somewhat fascinated. It quickly gets sidetracked by a narrative riddled with plot holes, boring action, annoying, charmless characters, and unintentional hilarity. Russell Crowe’s rendition of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is an excuse for a build-up to a possible film in the potential cinematic universe. Thankfully, this movie flopped to the point of any future films (including The Bride of Frankenstein) being shelved indefinitely.

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(Source: Vulture)

54. The Lorax (2012) – This is the movie that made me boycott every animated movie produced by Illumination Entertainment (responsible for the seemingly never-ending Despicable Me franchise). The Lorax is just about as harmless as a children’s movie could get. The animation is undeniably gorgeous, but this is, more or less, a rip-off to Despicable Me. The voice acting is mediocre at best, the narrative is rather cutesy, the humor is lacking, and the environmental message has a lot of potential but it’s easily distracted to give humor and action for the little ones.

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(Source: Cinema Blend)

53. The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016) – Snow White and the Huntsman was an average attempt at a darker version of the fairy tale. Chris Hemsworth did a good job as the titular Huntsman. This prequel/sequel is probably the worst rendition of Frozen. It sucks out all the charm and wonder from its predecessor. Hemsworth and Jessica Chastain have no chemistry whatsoever, and their Scottish accents are laughable. Charlize Theron and Emily Blunt are also wasted in this dull, humorless, surprise-free fairy tale. This is the perfect lullaby.

mr-right-playlist

(Source: Playlist)

52. Mr. Right (2016) – How can anyone not love Anna Kendrick? Not only is she a pretty-face, she is also hilarious. Unfortunately, in Mr. Right, she plays an annoying character who falls for Sam Rockwell’s hitman. There’s something about it that feels off. Maybe it’s the tone going all over the freaking place–from a simple rom-com to a straight-up action thriller. The laughs are hardly there and the thrills come across as unpleasant. The movie just didn’t do it for me.

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(Source: The New York Times)

51. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013) – This magic-themed comedy is anything but incredible. The movie stars Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi as two famous magicians going up against a street magician (Jim Carrey) for one final act. There are few times in which I did laugh, particularly some of Carrey’s dark antics. However, unlikable characters and the inconsistent tone are more than enough to make me disappear from this movie. Also, Carrey’s performance comes across as creepy and unnerving. There is a scene near the end where he drills a hole through his skull with a power drill. I had the same exact feeling after watching The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.

 

100-9190-81 | 80-71 | 70-61 | 60-51 | 50-41 | 40-31 | 30-21 | 20-11 | 10-1

Top 10 Worst Movies of 2015

2015 is coming to a close. It’s about that time to recap the good and the bad movies of this year. And also what has yet to come out in 2016. 2015 has been one hell of a year for movies. As a matter of fact, there have been more surprises than last year. I’m happy I went to see what I ended up seeing this year.

But, 2015 has been known for getting more box-office disappointments than the last five years. Out of the 66 films I’ve seen, I’m going to start off with the ten movies I regret seeing in 2015. Bear with me, I haven’t seen every single bad movie. Don’t expect to see movies like Terminator: Genisys, Vacation, Jem and the Holograms or Ted 2 on this list. Without further ado, let’s start my top ten list of the worst movies of the year.

Dishonorable Mentions: Blackhat, Everest, Pixels, Poltergeist

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10. Chappie – Starting off the countdown is Neill Blomkamp’s third film after District 9 and Elysium. He gives some great ideas into this movie. Concerning how crime in a not-too-distant future. Taking place in Blomkamp’s native Johannesburg, the government agrees to create a robot police force to decrease the crime rate. For a movie with a $50 million budget, the effects are pretty good and Sharlto Copley brings the title character to life through motion capture. That doesn’t make up for what is wrong with the movie. Playing fictional versions of themselves, the popular South African rap duo Die Antwoord play two of the most annoying characters ever. It rips off many sci-fi films including Robocop, the tone is all over the place, the action is obnoxious, and the cast featuring Dev Patel and Sigourney Weaver is wasted (not to mention Hugh Jackman being absolutely painful to watch). It almost plays out like a two-hour Die Antwoord music video. Let’s hope Neill Blomkamp redeems himself when he directs the Alien prequel (if it ever gets made).

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9. Child 44 – Before he played Mad Max, Tom Hardy stars as a Russian agent in this unfocused mess. Starring alongside Gary Oldman and Noomi Rapace, the accents are distracting to the point where I couldn’t take anything seriously. The movie has no idea if it wants to be a mystery or a political thriller. Either way, Child 44 is neither thrilling nor surprising. From start to finish, it’s downright boring.

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8. The Woman in Black 2: The Angel of Death – The first Woman in Black is a solid haunted house picture featuring an eerie atmosphere and a breakthrough performance by Daniel Radcliffe. The sequel forgets everything on what the original mastered. Instead, it makes it rely on those stupid jump scares. I’m not a big horror buff, but this movie sums up on what is wrong about today’s horror movies. But I’m glad the movie didn’t have unnecessary blood and gore. I feel so bad for everyone involved especially Jeremy Irvine (War Horse).

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7. Aloha – As you could tell, 2015 had a lot of movies featuring an all-star cast. With Aloha, director Cameron Crowe presses the autopilot button from the beginning. The movie stars Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone (who plays someone who is 1/4 Hawaiian; don’t ask), Rachel McAdams, Alec Baldwin, John Krasinki, and Bill Murray. Neither of them had any chemistry whatsoever. It has no idea what it wants to be. Is it supposed to be a romantic comedy? A family drama? A subplot involving a satellite launch? What the hell is going on!? The movie is not funny, not romantic, and not surprising. Aloha? More like Good Riddance!

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6. Hot Pursuit – Boy, is this an annoying experience!? It looks like Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara had a great time making the movie. But, Hot Pursuit doesn’t showcase any of their talents at all. The jokes fall flat, the writing is beyond lazy, and there is little to enjoy. I chuckled a couple times throughout the 90-minute duration. Hearing Sofia Vergara yell at the top of her lungs throughout the entire film drives me up the wall.

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5. Jupiter Ascending – When The Matrix was released in 1999, the Wachowskis brought the science fiction genre to a whole new level with its groundbreaking effects and a thought-provoking narrative. In Jupiter Ascending, one of the biggest flops of the year, they rip off every single sci-fi film in the last 40 years (Star Wars, Blade Runner, Signs, the list goes on). The decent chase scene through Chicago doesn’t save it from being a cluttered mess. Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis are both likable actors. But they manage to take their roles way too serious (their “romance” is like something out of Twilight). Don’t get me started on Eddie Redmayne’s performance as the villain. He speaks in this stupid, quiet monotone throughout the entire film, and has sudden outbursts (“I CREATE LIFE! . . . And I destroy it.” is among one of the many awful lines). I feel so bad for everyone involved.

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4. Mortdecai – Remember this movie back in January? Before tackling the part of Whitey Bulger in Black Mass, Johnny Depp plays the title character (similar to Jacques Clouseau in The Pink Panther) who tries to get his hands on a Nazi bank account. He has played the same quirky character over and over. When he overacts, it gets tiresome. The stupid action, the lame jokes, and the huge waste of talent makes Mortdecai a good place as one of the worst movies of the year.

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3. Serena – Welcome back, Bradley Cooper. After their first on-screen appearance in Silver Linings Playbook, he and Jennifer Lawrence star in a movie that it as lifeless, derivative and unintentionally funny as Serena. Filmed in 2012 and got delayed for three years, Susanne Beir gives the Depression-era setting as something pleasing to the eye. However, everything feels rushed and unfinished. With a supporting cast involving Rhys Ifans and Toby Jones, there is no chemistry between any of the characters whatsoever.

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2. Fant4stic – Everyone — including myself — was looking forward to seeing the reboot of the Fantastic Four. I couldn’t imagine a better cast to play the group of superheroes than Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, and Jamie Bell. When I heard Josh Trank (Chronicle) directing this, I was sold. I wanted to enjoy this movie bad. After seeing what I saw, I wanted to take everything I said before seeing it back. Fant4stic is nothing but exposition. None of the four characters worked as a team (don’t get me started on the “action-filled” climax), the effects are absolutely awful; not to mention the painfully obvious green screen, Dr. Doom and the supporting characters are a bore. I don’t know if a director’s cut will make that much of a difference. But I’m glad there isn’t going to be a sequel to this pile of garbage.

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1. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 – Kevin James is a likable talent. He is mostly remember for getting his big break on The King of Queens. However, with the unnecessary sequel to the 2009 hit (which wasn’t any good but not entirely awful), it doesn’t showcase any of his talents at all. Seriously, how can a scene involving Paul fighting an angry peacock be funny? Not a single joke works, every single character is stupid, the villains aren’t intimidating (I feel sorry for Neal McDonough–yes, “Dum Dum” Dugan–for being a part of this mess), and the action is just embarrassing to watch. Also, it feels like every Happy Madison production, starting with Grown Ups, is a vacation disguised as a movie. Why can the actors use the money to take a vacation without needing a film crew?

I hope you enjoyed what my picks of the worst movies of 2015 are. Feel free to leave a comments on what movies you regret seeing this past year. Stay tuned for my list of the best movies of 2015. Have a happy new year!

2015 Summer Movie Review: Aloha

Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone try their best in Cameron Crowe's

Bradley Cooper and Emma Stone try their best in Cameron Crowe’s “Aloha”

If you hire A-list actors and your movie has a great soundtrack, it must be Cameron Crowe. He’s the director who made the famous Tom Cruise say the most famous line, “Show me the money!” in Jerry Maguire, and eventually collaborated with him again in the enigmatic Vanilla Sky. This decade, he made Matt Damon and his family live on a zoo in the decent albeit likeable We Bought a Zoo. In his latest, Aloha, he captures his actors going on vacation in Hawaii. It’s refreshing to have a movie without any overblown effects every once in a while. Unfortunately, it’s not the case with this movie. I don’t know what the hell Cameron Crowe was thinking.

Brian Gilcrest (Bradley Cooper) is a military contractor who used to work in Afghanistan. He’s now working for a wealthy industrialist (Bill Murray). His task is to launch a satellite into space. He immediately becomes attracted to a fast-talking, energetic Air Force pilot Allison Ng (Emma Stone), who is one-quarter Hawaiian (don’t ask). However, Gilcrest tries to reconnect with his old girlfriend (Rachel McAdams), but she’s married to a mute Air Force pilot (John Krasinski), who Gilcrest has an amusing conversation with near the end of the movie with their thoughts and gestures.

One of the biggest problems with Aloha is the direction. It has no idea what it wants to be. It goes from being a “romance” between Cooper and Stone to a family drama with Cooper getting along with one of McAdams’ children who has an obsession with Hawaiian Gods and carrying a video camera. Then, there’s a subplot with a satellite launch. If the actors share no chemistry whatsoever, that’s also a major problem. It’s not funny, not romantic, and not surprising. Thank God this movie flopped.

1/4

2015 Summer Movie Preview: May

Wow! Is it that time of year again? Already?

Yes, the summer movie season is back! 2015 has been a decent year for film so far. Even though I haven’t seen a lot because of school getting in the way of my movie watching. But as my first year of college is about to come to a close, there are a lot of highly anticipated blockbusters, as well as some independent films, that have yet to come out that I am looking forward to this summer. Not to mention one coming out this month that is my most anticipated film of the entire year (can you guess which one?). I enjoyed doing this segment last year, and I’m glad to be doing it again this year. Keep in mind that I’ll review the movies that are being discussed a lot or just sound interesting to me. Let’s get started talking about the movies that are coming out in the month of May.

May 1

The Avengers - Age of UltronThe Avengers: Age of Ultron – This comes as no surprise to many people that this is what everyone is looking forward to.  For someone who loved The Avengers, I have been waiting patiently to see these superheroes spring back into action with new additions to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Joss Whedon knows how to bring the fun to the superhero genre. Even though sequel don’t quite surpass the original, I’m definitely expecting a great time at the theater. I don’t know if Quicksilver would be more awesome here than Quicksilver in X-Men: Days of Future Past.

Far from the Madding CrowdFar from the Madding Crowd – Based on Thomas Hardy’s novel, this film stars Carey Mulligan (The Great Gatsby) as a woman who is attracted to three different men in Victorian London. Due to the success of Downton Abbey, costume dramas have become very popular in the media. Last year’s Belle was a great look in racial equality in England during the 1700s. From the previews, I have never seen anything that looked more beautiful than Far from the Madding Crowd!

May 8

Hot PursuitHot Pursuit – There aren’t a lot of great comedies coming out nowadays. Hot Pursuit is no exception. Even though I like Reese Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara to death, this movie is using the “buddy cop” sub-genre but with jokes that sound stale. It might be alright for a few laughs, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this flops.

MaggieMaggie – Arnold Schwarzenegger in a serious movie? How rare is that? Fans have been used to him as the ultimate action hero turned California governor turned back to actor. Starring alongside Abigail Breslin, this has my attention as being a tense zombie apocalypse story.

5 Flights Up5 Flights Up – You can’t go wrong with Morgan Freeman. He’s one of the best actors with one of the best voices on Earth. Everyone wishes that he should narrate their lives. This movie, co-starring Diane Keaton, follows a Brooklyn couple trying to sell their apartment due to financial issues. Even though it doesn’t look phenomenal, it looks sweet at best.

100yom_poster_2764x4096The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared (I know, quite a mouthful) – Based on Jonas Jonasson’s novel, this popular Scandinavian picture is like a new version of Forrest Gump. It follows Allan Karlsson, who was an explosives expert becoming a part of the most important historical events of the 20th century and meeting countless historical figures. At 100 years old and in good health, he escapes his nursing home to embark on another (possibly his last) adventure. After seeing the trailer today, not only am I intrigued but I’m laughing from thinking about it. For someone interested in Scandinavian cinema, I would be a fool for missing out on this.

May 15

MMMad Max: Fury Road – Oh my goodness! Talk about being on the edge of your seat from watching the previews! I have yet to see the original films starring Mel Gibson, but this reboot looks insane in every sense of the word. With Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, and Nicholas Hoult leading the cast, I have a feeling this would surpass Furious 7 as the year’s best action film.

PP2Pitch Perfect 2 – The sequel to the 2012 cult classic Pitch Perfect looks as aca-fun. After seeing the first film, I could see why the movie inspired many acapella musicians worldwide (especially Pentatonix, who are going to appear in the sequel). I don’t care if the story is predictable as hell, what matters is the laughs and the good time. I can’t think of a better actress who can sing more beautifully than Anna Kendrick. It’s like she is about to hit Broadway, she’s that good!

Slow WestSlow West – This Western became a big hit at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. It won the Grand Jury Prize for Best International Drama. From the looks of the preview, the movie looks like a beautiful and traditional Western. What more do you need with a cast featuring Michael Fassbender and Kodi Smith-McPhee?

Good KillGood Kill – This is the third collaboration of Ethan Hawke and director Andrew Niccol; the first two being Gattaca and Lord of War. After getting mixed reviews coming from the Venice Film Festival and Toronto International Film Festival, it’s about time for this to get an initial limited release. I think this looks like a fascinating character study on how one man begins to question about his life and missions as a drone pilot. I like Ethan Hawke and Andrew Niccol. Gattaca is one of my all-time favorite films. Let’s hope Niccol will return to form after The Host, a disaster that I’m glad I avoided.

May 22

TomorrowlandTomorrowland – The previews for Disney’s Tomorrowland show very little detail. That’s a good thing. Nowadays, a lot of movie trailers give too much away (*ahem* Neighbors). The look of movie makes me feel like a kid experiencing something unlike anything I’ve seen before. Brad Bird is an ingenious filmmaker who directed the best Mission: Impossible film to date (Ghost Protocol). I love the imagination he puts into this picture. Cannot wait for this!!

PoltergeistPoltergeist – Ah, the summer movie season couldn’t be complete without a remake or two. A remake of the 1982 film that contributed to the creation of the PG-13 rating (along with countless other violent PG-rated films of the 1980s), Poltergeist looks like any generic modern-day horror flick. Focusing more on the jump scares than on the atmosphere. Who knows? it might be one of those rare occasions that it’s faithful to the original.

May 29

san_andreasSan Andreas – Even though it’s hard not to like Dwayne Johnson, this movie looks like a new 2012. Paul Giamatti looks like the only redeemable quality of this train-wreck.

AlohaAloha – It’s refreshing to see a mainstream film absent from loud explosions and overblown effects. Only nothing but human drama. With an ensemble cast including Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Alec Baldwin, Bill Murray, Rachel McAdams, and John Krasinski and talented director (Cameron Crowe, Jerry Maguire and We Bought a Zoo), Aloha might be good, or it might be bad.

Recap:

Most Anticipated: The Avengers: Age of Ultron, Far from the Madding Crowd, Mad Max: Fury Road, Tomorrowland

Least Anticipated: Hot Pursuit, Poltergeist, San Andreas

I hope you enjoyed reading on what my thoughts are on several movies for the month of May. Tell me in the comments below on what your most anticipated movies are for the month of May. Stay tuned for a movie preview for the month of June on Memorial Day. Take care.