Top 5 Worst Movies of 2014

Better late than never.

Another year has come and gone. It’s time to share my picks for the best and worst movies of 2014. This past year was a strong year for movies. It had its fair share of surprises and disappointments. However, I haven’t seen a lot of bad movies, so movies like Transformers: Age of Extinction and Into the Storm won’t be on this list. But there were only five of them that I wasted two hours from my life. Let’s get started at the bottom of the barrel.

But first, some dishonorable mentions:
The Judge
Lucy
Unbroken

Dumb-and-Dumber-To-2-Brady-Bluhm-Billy-4C5. Dumb and Dumber To – I’m glad Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels came back playing the two dimwitted friends going on another misadventure. The previews made it look like it would be good for a few laughs. The first twenty minutes or so were really funny, but it started to go downhill from there with too much toilet humor and not much heart. Some of the things that Harry and Lloyd do are quite mean. For instance, pushing strangers into a bush. This is much better than the Farrelly brothers’ atrocity known as Movie 43.

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4. Hercules (the version starring Dwayne Johnson and directed by Brett Ratner) – It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. There is some fun in this movie. The action is not bad. Dwayne Johnson does put a lot of muscle into the title role. Brett Ratner does a lousy job giving lame one-liners, horrible effects, and ridiculously forced flashbacks involving the murder of Hercules’ wife and children. For those who have sacrificed their time with The Legend of Hercules, I think you’re better off watching this version, despite the fact that it’s not very good.

jack-ryan-motorcycle3. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit – Remember this movie from January of last year? It was originally going to come out on Christmas of 2013, but it got pushed back a few weeks so it wouldn’t interfere with the release of Martin Scorsese’s The Wolf of Wall Street. I like Chris Pine. I like Kenneth Branagh. But this is a waste opportunity of being an origin story of Jack Ryan. Riddled with plot holes, shaky action sequences, and Pine playing a clumsy hero, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit is forgettable.

annabelle_12. Annabelle – For someone who thought The Conjuring was the best horror film in recent memory, I was looking forward to seeing how one creepy doll terrorized a happy family. When James Wan introduced Annabelle in that movie, I knew I was in for a scary good time at the theater. I thought if there would be a movie featuring this creepy ventriloquist doll. When you hire the director of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation putting his hands on this project, do you think this will be any good?

Absolutely not!

Even though there are some eerie moments in the film, it focused on way too many jump scares. Almost to the point where it becomes silly. This is the biggest disappointment of 2014, but it’s not worse than #1.

Sums up how I feel about this movie.

Sums up how I feel about this movie.

1. A Million Ways to Die in the West – If there is a scene involving one of the characters taking a dump in someone’s hat before a gunfight, you know this Western satire won’t turn out to be any good. From Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad, Ted), A Million Ways to Die in the West is an unpleasant cinematic experience on every level. With an all-star cast featuring Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, and Liam Neeson, it feels like the movie is written by a teenager trapped in a man’s body. Everyone in this movie is vulgar and stupid, the jokes aren’t funny, the violence is surprisingly graphic (i.e. a man getting crushed by a big block of ice – YUCK!), and the heart is nowhere in site. I rather watch Blazing Saddles than this pile of garbage.

I hope you like my picks. Feel free to leave any comments on what are some of the worst movies you’ve seen in 2014. Stay tuned for my list of the ten best films of 2014. Take care.

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2014 Summer Movie Review: A Million Ways to Die in the West

Seth MacFarlane makes fun of the Western genre in "A Million Ways to Die in the West"

Seth MacFarlane makes fun of the Western genre in “A Million Ways to Die in the West”

In 1974, director Mel Brooks made a movie called Blazing Saddles. It truly set a new ground for the Western genre by making fun of it. From its outrageous use of the n-word, to a horse getting knocked out by one single punch, to cowboys passing gas while eating baked beans around a campfire, the movie is, and will always be, one of the funniest movies of all-time. Forty years later, Seth MacFarlane decided to direct his own Western spoof. Instead, making the comedy much darker, the violence much more graphic, the running time a lot longer, and the cameos unneeded. Seth MacFarlane should be ashamed of himself for having Christopher Lloyd to be a part of this mess.

Being a straight contender for one of the worst movies of 2014, A Million Ways to Die in the West is the latest from Seth MacFarlane, the same idiot who brought us Family Guy, American Dad, and Ted. He was also the host for the 2012 Oscars. It still baffles my mind how the Academy allowed MacFarlane to do something like that. His jokes can be pretty funny, but for the most part, they can be unbelievably crude, vulgar and tiresome. To sum it up, I am not a fan of Seth MacFarlane or Family Guy at all.

Albert Stark (Seth MacFarlane) is a sheep farmer living in Arizona in 1882. He can’t get over the fact on how nasty and dangerous the Old West can be. He describes the various ways on how people die:

Diseases, outlaws, ravenous wild animals, and so on.

After withdrawing himself from a gunfight, Albert’s girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) decides to break up with him. A depressed Albert loses all of his hope and courage when he sees her with the mustachioed Foy (Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother). One day, he sets his eyes on a beautiful woman (Charlize Theron), who just came into the town. She shows him how to fire a gun (the only laugh-out-loud funny scene in the movie), eat a marijuana cookie, and having a good time. However, her outlaw husband (Liam Neeson) hates this, and decides to come into the town to kill Albert. This is up to Albert to maintain his courage.

A Million Ways to Die in the West feels like it was written by a teenager trapped in Seth MacFarlane’s body. There are jokes in the movie that are used over and over again. It’s like a reminder if anyone in the audience didn’t get the joke before, they will get it again. There is a scene in which a man dies at a saloon from one of his own farts; you thought that scene gets old? Oh no, it gets better when Albert’s father talks about his bowel movements. If you’re not tired of that, it gets EVEN better when Neil Patrick Harris takes a person’s hat to take a dump before a gunfight.

With an ensemble cast, the movie doesn’t make up for its limited character development that it focuses more on the jokes. The jokes are a character within themselves; repetitive, vulgar, childish, and immature.

Unfortunately, Liam Neeson’s bad-assery is nowhere to be found during the two-hour running time. I rather watch Blazing Saddles than having to watch this piece of garbage again.

0.5/4

2014 Summer Movie Preview: May

2014 started the year off with a bang for movies. It included a lot of bad-looking movies that I was glad to skip (I, Frankenstein and Pompeii). There was a movie that gained a lot of controversy before its release (Noah). Lastly, there were  movies in which I loved to death, and can’t wait to see again (The LEGO Movie, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, The Grand Budapest Hotel). Today, is the beginning of the summer movie season. The season in which the most anticipated blockbusters come out to see what they have to offer.

I have a feeling this summer is going to have entertaining movies. Over the next four months, I’m going to give my thoughts on the highly anticipated summer blockbusters and some independent films. Without further ado, let’s get started on the month of May.

May 2

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 – I really enjoyed the 2012 predecessor – The Amazing Spider-Man. It felt like a much more realistic take on Spider-Man’s origins than in Raimi’s trilogy. Director Marc Webb revisits some of the plot points from the 2002 film, and giving them a vivid glimpse of what happened. Andrew Garfield was the definitive choice to portray Peter Parker than Tobey Maguire. He acted more like any teenager would; funny, charismatic, and a bit of a smart-Alec.

I am looking forward to seeing him springing into more web-slinging action in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, despite the mixed reviews it has been getting. It might head into that Spider-Man 3 territory where there will be too much going on, but I’m still hoping for it to be good. Dane DeHaan as Harry Osborn and Jamie Foxx as the main villain? Couldn’t be much better than that.

belle

Belle – With it coming out today in limited release, this will expand across the country throughout the month of May. Belle is one of those films that gives history I never heard of. It follows the true story of Dido Elizabeth Belle, a mixed race daughter of Royal Navy Admiral, trying to end slavery in England while being raised by her aristocratic great-uncle. Featuring a stellar cast including Tom Wilkinson, Emily Watson and Tom Felton (Malfoy from Harry Potter) nifty-looking sets and costumes, Belle looks like a brilliant period-romance piece.

May 9

neighbors

Neighbors – There hasn’t been a lot of hilarious comedies lately. If you think the comedy genre is, for the most part, dead, it looks Neighbors – the latest from the creators of last year’s overrated comedy-horror ensemble This Is the End -will probably bring back the big laughs. A raunch-fest with Seth Rogen as a dad with a newborn baby against Zac Efron and his frat boys, a variety of amusing movie references, and a lot of energy? I’m so in!

May 16

Godzilla

Godzilla – This looks like this year’s Pacific Rim, but without the giant robots. Although I have yet to watch the original 1954 Japanese version featuring the iconic radioactive lizard, this version simply looks jaw-dropping. From the destruction to the look of Godzilla, the special effects look outstanding; giving the movie a realistic feel. This movie cannot get any more awesome even with it starring Bryan Cranston (of Breaking Bad fame), Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Elizabeth Olsen, and Ken Watanabe.

million_dollar_arm_ver2

Million Dollar Arm – Don Draper as a sports agent training cricket players from India to play in Major League Baseball? I don’t know about this. Even for a sports movie by Disney, it looks standard.

May 23

X-Men - Days of Future Past

X-Men: Days of Future Past – The only X-Men movies I have seen are X-Men Origins: Wolverine, X-Men: First Class, and The Wolverine. Although I didn’t enjoy X-Men Origins, the latter two were more than just superhero movies, but rather interesting character studies. With Days of Future Past being about the original characters from the X-Men trilogy going to the past to team up with their younger selves, this looks unbelievably fascinating.

blended

Blended – Remember when Adam Sandler used to be on Saturday Night Live? Making everyone laugh so hard that tears would roll down their face? Now that his SNL days are behind him, his comedy is starting to become boring. His new movie Blended is no exception. It’s a shame, because I liked him, alongside Drew Barrymore, in 50 First Dates. Boy, I never felt so embarrassed from watching the trailer. I’m definitely giving this one a pass.

May 30

Maleficent

Maleficent – It seems like every classic Disney cartoon is being remade into a live-action Disney film. With Maleficent and Cinderella, I think it’s unfair for the original cartoon. It’s not to say Maleficent looks bad. The movie looks visually stunning, although looking like Alice in Wonderland, Snow White and the Huntsman, and Oz: The Great and Powerful combined. Angelina Jolie is downright perfect for the role of Maleficent. Elle Fanning is not a bad choice for Princess Aurora, but her fake English accent ruins it. However, this dialogue between the two characters gets me pumped up for the movie:

Aurora: “Don’t be afraid”

Maleficent: “I’m not afraid”

Aurora: “Then come out.”

Maleficent: “Then *you’ll* be afraid.”

million_ways_to_die_in_the_west

A Million Ways to Die in the West– Written, produced, directed, and starring Seth MacFarlane, the idiot who can’t cancel Family Guy, A Million Ways to Die in the West looks like a grittier version of Blazing Saddles. It seems to satirize the Western genre in a disgusting way. Even though it has a great cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, and Liam Neeson, the trailer didn’t make me laugh. It might be good, but it doesn’t look any good, in my opinion.

Recap:

Most Anticipated: Godzilla

Least Anticipated: Blended

I hope you enjoyed reading on what my thoughts are on the upcoming movies for the month of May. Tell me in the comments on what are your most anticipated movies for the month of May. Stay tuned for a movie preview for the month of June on Memorial Day.