60. Better Watch Out (2017) – Well–this is a Christmas slasher flick nobody asked for. Better Watch Out is basically a dark version of Home Alone. Ed Oxenbould and Olivia DeJonge (The Visit) star in this heaping lump of coal about a babysitter being held hostage by one of the kids. This comedy/horror lacks any laughs or thrills. The characters are annoying to the point in which I never want to see on-screen anymore. The movie also features a cop-out of an ending. Never watch this during the Christmas season!
59. Venom (2018) – A movie featuring the famous villain/anti-hero would have been fine, if it came out in the early 2000s. After watching this movie, it’s clear that Tom Hardy would be a perfect choice to play Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Here, he is horrendously miscast as Eddie Brock, San Francisco’s journalist who becomes infected by the symbiotes to become Venom. Despite a few decent action sequences, particularly a chase through the streets of the wonderful city (even though the Rialto makes an appearance constantly throughout the sequence), the movie becomes a messy, bloodless, derivative, and ridiculous romp of a superhero origin story. The entire cast looks like they are sleepwalking throughout the whole film. Of course, Venom has to end on a cliffhanger to leave room to sequel. Woo-freakity-hoo.
58. Aloha (2015) – Cameron Crowe has come a long way since his time as a music journalist and his rock-solid directing debut Say Anything. All of his movies (even if they are terrible have awesome soundtracks. Aloha is a movie with a marvelous cast including Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray, John Krasinski, Alec Baldwin. Crowe doesn’t give anything into their performances. The dialogue is forced, the characters don’t feel like actual people (not to mention Stone’s character claiming as one-quarter Hawaiian), the narrative is incoherent to the point of everyone gag–ranging from a terrible rom-com to a gratuitous subplot involving a space satellite. Why not use the money for a Hawaiian vacation instead?
57. 2 Days in New York (2012) – Famous for playing Celine in Richard Linklater’s fantastic Before trilogy, Julie Delpy directed and starred in 2 Days in Paris, a decent anti-rom-com about a relationship going downhill. Five years later, we reunite with Delpy in 2 Days in New York, also starring Chris Rock and Albert Delpy, Julie’s real-life father. This 90-minute sitcom is filled with unlikable characters, obnoxious situations, and even worse attempts at laughs.
56. The Dead Don’t Die (2019) – Jim Jarmusch is an icon in the American indie scene. He has created some fantastic films since his 1984 debut Stranger than Paradise. Mystery Train, Night on Earth, and Paterson are all bonafide masterpieces, and it’s hard to deny his unique artistry. Here, he wrote and directed this horror comedy devoid of any laughs or scares. Its environmental message hardly amounts to anything at all. Bill Murray and Adam Driver are masters of deadpan comedy. They do have a funny line here and there, The Dead Don’t Die loses its welcome after the opening scene when they are in the car. The massive cast feel like they are sleepwalking throughout the whole film that feels 20 minutes too long. Even the last act is enough to make everyone furious long after the credits start to roll; making one wonder what the hell just happened. The “theme song” by Sturgill Simpson is the only good thing the film has to offer.
55. The Mummy (2017) – This marks the beginning of the end of the Dark Universe. I have never seen Tom Cruise get his ass kicked so much in a movie in my life. For some weird reason, it makes me laugh my ass off. The backstory about the titular mummy is somewhat fascinated. It quickly gets sidetracked by a narrative riddled with plot holes, boring action, annoying, charmless characters, and unintentional hilarity. Russell Crowe’s rendition of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is an excuse for a build-up to a possible film in the potential cinematic universe. Thankfully, this movie flopped to the point of any future films (including The Bride of Frankenstein) being shelved indefinitely.
54. The Lorax (2012) – This is the movie that made me boycott every animated movie produced by Illumination Entertainment (responsible for the seemingly never-ending Despicable Me franchise). The Lorax is just about as harmless as a children’s movie could get. The animation is undeniably gorgeous, but this is, more or less, a rip-off to Despicable Me. The voice acting is mediocre at best, the narrative is rather cutesy, the humor is lacking, and the environmental message has a lot of potential but it’s easily distracted to give humor and action for the little ones.
53. The Huntsman: Winter’s War (2016) – Snow White and the Huntsman was an average attempt at a darker version of the fairy tale. Chris Hemsworth did a good job as the titular Huntsman. This prequel/sequel is probably the worst rendition of Frozen. It sucks out all the charm and wonder from its predecessor. Hemsworth and Jessica Chastain have no chemistry whatsoever, and their Scottish accents are laughable. Charlize Theron and Emily Blunt are also wasted in this dull, humorless, surprise-free fairy tale. This is the perfect lullaby.
52. Mr. Right (2016) – How can anyone not love Anna Kendrick? Not only is she a pretty-face, she is also hilarious. Unfortunately, in Mr. Right, she plays an annoying character who falls for Sam Rockwell’s hitman. There’s something about it that feels off. Maybe it’s the tone going all over the freaking place–from a simple rom-com to a straight-up action thriller. The laughs are hardly there and the thrills come across as unpleasant. The movie just didn’t do it for me.
51. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013) – This magic-themed comedy is anything but incredible. The movie stars Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi as two famous magicians going up against a street magician (Jim Carrey) for one final act. There are few times in which I did laugh, particularly some of Carrey’s dark antics. However, unlikable characters and the inconsistent tone are more than enough to make me disappear from this movie. Also, Carrey’s performance comes across as creepy and unnerving. There is a scene near the end where he drills a hole through his skull with a power drill. I had the same exact feeling after watching The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.